Ask Alex will return next week

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Alex will return next week to offer up advice on all of life’s questions!

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Unwanted Pregnancy

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected] Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Unwanted Pregnancy

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex! 

I never wanted children and despite precautions being taken here I am with a 12 month old baby boy. I have been married to the father of my child for 5 years and he is an amazing man who loves our baby very much, but I just don’t want to be here anymore. He can tell how miserable I am and he knows that it is because I never wanted a baby. I want to leave and let him raise our child on his own. I honestly think he would be happier and I know that I would be happier too. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Mother of the Year

 

Hey Mother of the Year!

This is a situation where absolutely no one can tell you what to do. You are going to have to do a lot of soul searching and come to the best conclusion for your child, not for you. I would like to give you my thoughts though and some points that I think you should consider.

First and foremost you need to have a very direct conversation with your husband. I’m sure that you are right and he is picking up on your misery, but you can’t just assume that and you can’t assume that he is perfectly happy having a child. He deserves to know exactly how you feel and what you are thinking. The two of you need to come to a healthy solution together if at all possible.

I do feel that if you are going to leave perhaps it is better not to wait it out and see if your feelings change. A baby that young is likely not to even remember you being a part of their life, which might be better for the child rather than having memories of mom leaving one day. I would caution that if you choose to leave, then be gone. I can only imagine that having a mother who pops in and out of your life periodically would be psychologically damaging for any child. 

So whatever decision you make, make it with the mindset that there is no going back. I’m not saying that there is no going back but that your decision should carry this much weight.

Lastly, at a bare minimum if you choose to leave, you will still be financially responsible for this child. We all hear about “deadbeat dads” but there are just as many deadbeat moms, don’t become that person. While you may never have wanted a child; it happened and it is still your responsibility to provide. 

Sincerely,

Alex

 

 

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected] Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Accidental Text

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and just die. I am very married to a man named Brad and very employed by a man named Bradley, at least that is how my boss’s name is saved in my phone. Recently my husband was out of town for a few days and I accidentally sent an embarrassingly private text message to my boss. The text was meant for my husband! I didn’t realize I had done this until the next day at work! My boss hasn’t said anything to me but I can’t even make eye contact with him now. I’m so embarrassed! How should I approach this situation? 

Sincerely,

Embarrassed

 

Hey Embarrassed!

There are really two lessons to be learned here, but we will start with the first, which is how to approach the situation so that you can be comfortable at work again.

As with any situation where there is simply a misunderstanding or a simple mistake that has been made, approach it head on. Ask your boss if you could speak to him for a couple of minutes and explain in private that you are very sorry to have sent the message to him and that it was meant for your husband, who was out of town.

Your boss hasn’t approached you yet because much like you, he probably just wants the situation to disappear, but for the sake of both of you and your continued working relationship, it is going to be better in the long run to just openly discuss and clear the air. 

The next lesson to be learned here, is always be mindful of what you text! Yes, that message was meant for your husband but look at where it ended up and to be frank, you can never guarantee that who you are texting is always going to be in good graces with you.

Once it is sent out in the land of digital, it has the potential to be there forever. Make sure that anything you send is something that you wouldn’t mind having resurface later in your life.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Zodiac Signs

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected] Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Battle of the Thermostat

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

We’re battling over the thermostat! My husband is constantly cold and I am constantly hot. I like to set it at a nice crisp 70 degrees and he likes it at a burning hot 74. How do I get him to quit messing with my perfect temperature setting?

Sincerely,
Hot and Bothered

 

 

Hey Hot and Bothered!

I feel your pain! And for the life of me I can’t figure out how to make someone stop touching the thermostat, but here are some tips you could try…. 

Depending on your age, you could blame your hot nature on menopause…. Maybe it is menopause? Usually, women troubles will shy a man away from pushing the issue any further. Really, you could just claim hormones all together and that would probably do the trick.

Being that there is a 4 degree difference, have you all tried setting it at 72 degrees? A compromise is always the best bet in a marriage. 72 might be just bearable enough for the both of you and would save you from resorting to devious tactics.

As a last resort, you could always purchase a lock-box to go over the thermostat. They seem to be inexpensive and readily available on Amazon. I found a bunch with just a quick Google search.

To Prevent Thermostat Tampering Click Here : Thermostat Guard

Whatever you do, you better do it quickly! He may purchase the lockbox first and then you are just stuck in your 74 degree dungeon.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Office Romance

 

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected] Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : I Want A Dog

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex! 

I have wanted a dog for as long as I can remember! I constantly search rescue websites looking for that perfect companion. When I was younger I always lived in apartments that wouldn’t allow pets, but now I own my own house, with my husband…. Therein lies my problem. He is just not a dog person and won’t budge on not wanting a dog in the house. Recently, I found a little guy that I think would be perfect for us, but I keep getting a very stern no from my other half.

What should I do? Would it be horrible if I just adopted the dog anyway? I’ve always heard it’s better to ask forgiveness than to get permission.

Sincerely,
Needing A Pup

 

Hey Needing A Pup!

I’m going to go ahead and stop you in your tracks. In this situation it is absolutely NOT better to ask for forgiveness than to get permission. Adopting a pet is a huge commitment in all aspects of your life. It will change how you operate day-to-day. It will change if you and when you can plan vacations and events. Not to mention the financial responsibility that comes with being a pet owner and these are just the practical areas that will be impacted, not the emotional impacts that would come and probably trouble your marriage.

Adopting a pet is a lifetime commitment for that pet. What would you do if your husband is so angry he says it’s me or the dog? Would you just give up on the dog? What if this moment comes down the road when you have had time to bond with your pet? Would you be able to take him or her back to the shelter?

It sounds like your husband has been very clear on his feelings about getting a dog from go, which means you still chose to be with him knowing that you might never be able to own your own dog. 

I would recommend that you take time to volunteer at a shelter and try to get your puppy fix without bringing one home.  Another possibility that you could speak with your husband about is fostering. 

Rescues are always looking for foster homes, and the thought of the dog only being at your house temporarily might be something that your husband would be down to do. If fostering goes well he might just change his mind and be open to adopting a permanent four legged family member.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Where to Eat?

https://sundayedition.fetchyournews.com/2020/06/07/ask-alex-where-to-eat/

 

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected] Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex: Stressed by my Mother-In-Law

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex,

I’m stressed and trying to cope with my mother-in-law coming to live with me and my wife. It’s been rough because she wants to be a good daughter, but her mother is very needy and stressful. She constantly tells us what we’re doing wrong, but is physically unable to really help or contribute. How do I tell my wife that her mother is straining and hurting our relationship without causing more damage myself?

Sincerely,

Stressed

 

Hey Stressed,

Do you remember the vows of your wedding, for better or for worse? Well, welcome to worse, and I can assure you that throughout your marriage there will be many other ‘worses’, and they will quite possibly be worse than your current situation.

With that being said, you need to take some responsibility over these circumstances. Your mother-in-law might be adding stress, but she is not straining or hurting your relationship. How you internalize and react to the situation is what can cause the damage.

Your wife obviously feels love or obligation towards her mom or your mother-in-law would not be staying with you during a time of need. I am also assuming from your words that the mother-in-law is facing an issue that leaves her physically unable to live on her own. We can only hope that someone will be there to care for us when we inevitably face the time that we can no longer care for ourselves.

Your wife is probably already well aware of the stress that you are feeling, but you need to look at this from her point of view. She loves you both and she not only wants to be a “good daughter” but also a good wife. Don’t put her in a situation where she feels torn between you and her mother.

Approach your wife with solutions, not with the problem. You could possibly say, “Hey. I can tell this situation is adding some stress on the both of us. Why don’t we make plans to get out of the house once a week, just the two of us?”

She will appreciate that you aren’t just thinking of yourself, but thinking of the two of you as a team.

Sincerely,
Alex

Back to Top