Ask Alex : Coming Out
Lifestyle February 7, 2021
Hey Alex!
This year will mark 20 years of marriage. I have one child that is somewhat grown. She will be 18 this year. The problem I’m having is that I am gay. I’ve always known this but when I got married, being gay was not socially acceptable. I’ve never cheated on my wife but it is something that I struggle with. Recently I met a man that made me realize I no longer want to live a lie. I don’t want to devastate my wife or my daughter but I need to be free and my biggest fear is losing them all together. I want them both to always be a part of my life. How do I tell them?
Sincerely,
In The Closet
Hey In The Closet!
The only way to tell them is to be completely honest. You can’t control how they react but you can control how you react to their reactions.
I would definitely recommend telling your wife first and do it in private with no chance of interruption. Be honest with her about your feelings, not only about being gay but also about your feelings for her and your fear of loss. Be prepared for her to react. More than likely she is going to feel hurt and betrayed. At the same time, don’t be totally shocked if she tells you she kind of knew all along. There really is no predicting how a person will take news of this magnitude.
You and your wife will need to process everything together and come up with a game plan on how to tell your child. Preferably the two of you will be able to tell your daughter together but you also need to come up with your own game plan to tell your daughter alone in case your wife does not want to approach it as a team.
Just remember, you have no control over how your wife or your daughter is going to react to your news but just like they have to accept your news, you will have to accept their reactions. All you can do is be honest and let the cards fall where they may.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Financial Crisis
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Financial Crisis
Lifestyle January 24, 2021
Hey Alex!
Recently I have found myself in a bit of a financial crisis! I’ve always been responsible with money and how I spend it, but a couple months ago I went a little far with unnecessary purchases and now I’m falling behind on my bills. It seems like it is snowballing and I can’t keep up. How do I fix this before it’s too late?
Sincerely,
Broke
Hey Broke!
Been there, done that and I think most people find themselves in this position at some point in their lives.
The first step to digging yourself out of this financial crisis is to acknowledge that it has hit or is hitting crisis level. Avoid the mindset of “oh well, I’ll work on it tomorrow”. You can’t do this with finances because as you are experiencing it becomes a slippery slope and those bills are not going to go away.
Next, prioritize your debts. Which debts are those that provide for your basic needs such as water, shelter and food and which debts can you do without if it comes down to it, such as, gasp! internet service.
Lastly, come up with a plan to get yourself back on top. I would begin by seeing what you could do without for a while that would save you some money on the day to day basis. Do you grab a coffee in the morning? Save some money and make it at home. Do you go out to dinner during the week or grab a quick bite for lunch? Once again save some money and make it at home.
Cut out any unnecessary spending and put the extra cash towards catching up on those bills!
If this isn’t enough to get you back on track, then you will need to look into ways to increase your cash flow. Are there items around the house that could be sold for some extra income? You might even look into picking up more work until you’re caught up. No one wants to work more but if you have put yourself in a situation it is your responsibility to pull yourself back out.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : New Year’s Resolutions
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : New Year’s Resolutions
Just For Fun January 3, 2021
Hey Alex!
I fall into the category of people who make New Year’s Resolutions but never stick to them. How would you suggest I break this pattern and accomplish my New Year goals?
Sincerely,
Better Myself
Hey Better Myself!
I would suggest taking a day to reflect on the previous year. Many times people set these New Year Resolutions as an attempt to go after something they want but fail to recognize the patterns within themselves that have hindered them from accomplishing the goals before now.
Reflect on every aspect of the previous year. What did you accomplish? Where did you fall short? What made you happy? And where can you improve?
A lot of times with self reflection you might find that while it would be pretty snazzy to drop that 10 lbs., you may actually need to work on something else before attempting it. For example, are you heavier than you like because you are an emotional eater? Maybe, you could work on why you eat and what you eat rather than signing up for that gym membership.
Instead of just going for the goal, try tackling the root of why you aren’t already there. Often if you can improve on a core level, you will find that not only will you reach your ideal goal but you might accomplish so much more on the way.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Should that be on Facebook?
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.