Ask Alex : Afraid of Losing Job

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Hey Alex!

My boss is having to make budget cuts at work and this means probably having to let someone go. There is a girl I work with that will be leaving in a couple of months when she has her baby and on top of that her husband makes really good money, so she doesn’t actually need the job. She’s one of the highest paid employees here, which means the boss would be saving even more by going ahead and letting her go. Should I bring these points up to my boss? I’m just afraid of losing my job.

Sincerely,

Don’t Want To Get Fired

 

Hey Don’t Want To Get Fired!

If you are afraid of losing your job the absolute worst thing you can do is tell your boss why other people should be let go before you. The only conversation you should have with your boss in this case is why you should stay and that’s only if your boss brings it up.

It’s none of your business how much your coworkers make and even less of your business on how they spend their money or whether or not they “need the job”.  To bring any of this up is going to paint you in a very bad light in the eyes of your employer.

I would say that your boss is already factoring in that your coworker will be leaving and will be making their decision based on the best outcome for longevity of the company. Unless your employer specifically asks for your opinion, I think it would be in your best interest to say nothing and show your value through your quality of work.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Fed Up With The World

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : I Quit My Job

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Hey Alex! 

I recently quit my job, like really quit. No notice. I felt that my boss had been treating me badly for a while. Picking apart everything that I did. I was miserable. So when he came in with yet another complaint, I stood up and said not my problem, I quit and I walked out. Any other job I have left, I have always given at least a two week notice. I’m feeling bad for how I handled the situation. Was it wrong of me to just walk out?

Sincerely,

Moving On

 

Hey Moving On!

It sounds like you have always handled yourself in a professional manner in the past and this was more than you wanted to deal with. You hit your limit and are just second guessing yourself because it is against your normal standards.

Truthfully, a person has every right to walk away in a situation where they are being mistreated. This doesn’t just apply to work environments but to every aspect of life.

The cons, which I am sure you are aware of since you normally handled leaving by giving a notice, are that more than likely you have squashed any chance of a reference from that job and also burned your bridge should you ever want or have a need to return.

My only question for you is, did you quit in front of coworkers? Just as a boss should never fire an employee in front of other staff, it is also in poor taste for an employee to quit in front of fellow coworkers. Some things should be handled in private.

While nothing can be done to change how you handled the situation, if you did happen to quit in front of others, just keep in mind in the future that it is always best to speak with your boss about such matters one on one.

I would recommend to anyone that if at all possible try to be courteous by giving notice. However, if your work environment is hostile or causing you major distress, then there is nothing wrong with getting out of there. You need to do what is best for yourself and your life.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Drama Queen

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex Will Return Next Week

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Alex will return next week to offer up advice on all of life’s questions!

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Passions and Causes

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex will return next week

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Alex will return next week to offer up advice on all of life’s questions!

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Passions and Causes

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Who Did You Vote For?

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Hey Alex!

I voted! I have a coworker who constantly talks politics with me but we have VERY differing views. He doesn’t know it because I usually just listen to him and nod politely and act like I am on the fence about a lot of issues. To me, it’s not worth arguing over. I know he is going to ask me who I ended up voting for and I know if I told him the truth, he would probably not speak to me anymore. What should I do? I don’t want to lie to the guy just to keep the peace.

Sincerely,

Uncomfortable

 

Hey Uncomfortable!

There is a reason that you go into the poll booth alone and privately vote the way that you feel is best. I have yet to see a precinct in America where one just walks in and publicly shouts their favorite candidate in front of the crowd to cast their vote. The reason is so that you can vote the way you feel without being pressured by outside influences. 

Unfortunately, people seem to have forgotten this. It is now the norm to pressure your friends and family politically via conversation or social media and what’s worse is knowing that there is no longer tolerance from the masses for opposing views.

You don’t need to lie to your coworker. The fact of the matter is that who you voted for is not his or anyone else’s business. Just simply tell him, “I’d rather not say” and give a smile. Let him interpret that however he feels. If he keeps pressuring you for an answer, firmly but kindly let him know that you really don’t want to share because you don’t want to ruin any of your relationships at work over politics.

You are correct in valuing a personal relationship over politics because while politics and policy affect all of our lives, at the end of the day our personal relationships offer us the true support we need to make it through life.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Survivor’s Guilt

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex Takes a Week Off

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Alex will return next week to offer up advice on all of life’s questions!

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Stressful Life

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Stressful Life

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Hey Alex!

Lately I have been feeling the stress. Nothing out of the ordinary, work and home life, but I think with the state of the world it is making it harder for me to cope. It just seems like everything is going badly. I’ve tried all the regular things, like exercise and meditation to deal, but I just keep finding myself overwhelmed. Do you have any tips or advice on dealing with everyday stress?

Sincerely,

Over It

 

Hey Over It!

I think the majority of people are feeling the stress nowadays, and I think you are right, the never ending year that is 2020 is playing a big part in that. 

The first thing you need to do is disconnect from the negativity, even if just for a few days. World events are very important and in the grand scheme of things does affect us all, but following the constant barrage of event after event can wear on the best of us. Stay informed, watch the news, read the articles, but be mindful of how much time you spend doing this and how you are reacting to it. It never hurts to take a break when needed.

Now as far as dealing with life’s stresses that can sometimes add up, I would like to say that the standard advice is exercise, eating right and getting enough sleep. These are all recommended time and time again and for a reason, they work for many people!

But for a more unconventional approach, you have to reset your mind. The truth is that the events surrounding you do not affect you, how you react to them is what causes your stress. You have to reset your way of thinking. Instead of being overwhelmed with tasks at hand, stop and reflect on how tackling the task will offer you improvement. Every task completed is an opportunity to better your life. 

Lastly, make a list of what needs to be done and set your sights on just doing one thing at a time. There is no need to worry about what all is on the list, just focus your time and energy on the one item at hand. Eventually the list will get done. 

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : High School Rumors

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Covid-19 and Schools

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Hey Alex!

I know for a fact that a member of the school board where my children attend school is positive for Covid-19 but he refuses to get tested or seek medical treatment. His wife tested positive last week and now he’s running a fever and can’t get out of bed. How can I be comfortable sending my children back to school if adult members of the school board are so childish that they won’t take responsible actions to keep others safe?

Sincerely,

Concerned Parent

 

Hey Concerned Parent!

I totally understand your concern for your child’s health. Our children are our most precious asset in life. With that being said, I think you might be being quick to get upset because your child in a roundabout way is involved.

From what you have described it doesn’t sound like the school board member is not taking responsible actions. If his wife tested positive and now he is sick, it is probably safe to assume that he contracted Covid-19 as well. Being tested would only confirm the assumption, and if he is treating it as though he has it and has let people know that he was in contact with Covid-19, then there is no reason to get tested.

The vast majority of Covid-19 cases to date have resolved themselves on their own without any kind of medical treatment. The fact that he hasn’t sought medical treatment isn’t an irresponsible action.

Now, if he is still out and about coming in contact with people or denying that his wife had tested positive, then that is a whole different ball game and parents should voice their concerns over his actions to other members of the school board and the superintendent.

The truth is, the Covid-19 pandemic is an ever evolving situation, one that most of us have not faced before. Information is constantly changing and most officials are just trying to make the best decision with the most current data they have. You are the parent of your child and you will have natural instincts that no official can replace. Ultimately, you need to listen to your gut instinct and make the decisions that are best for your family.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Photos of Exes

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Late Coworker

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Hey Alex! 

My co-worker’s car is in the shop and I offered to give him a ride to work until it gets fixed. Last week he made me late two times. I am an on-time type person. I feel weird saying something to him about it because the situation is just temporary and he should have his car back in another week. At the same time, I don’t want to be late anymore. What should I do?

Sincerely,
Running Late

 

 

Hey Running Late!

Don’t feel weird or guilty about saying something to your coworker. The fact is, you are doing him a favor and that favor shouldn’t reflect negatively on your job performance. 

More than likely, he isn’t doing anything to be late on purpose and is just unaware of how his actions are affecting you. Bringing it to his attention in a “no big deal, but” kind of way would be perfectly okay for you to do. This will cause him to be more self aware of how he is spending his time in the morning.

If you aren’t comfortable with the direct approach try an indirect route. Let him know that you are just needing to get to work a little bit early each day and see if he is okay with you picking him up earlier. This means you could arrive at his house 15 minutes (or however long you need) early and if he is running behind you would both still be to work on time. Worse case scenario with this approach is you would both arrive 15 minutes early.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : A Parent’s Intuition

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Apocalypse Survival Team

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Hey Alex!

My coworkers and I were playing a game where we could only choose 2 other coworkers for our apocalypse team and explaining why we picked who we did. I know, weird, right? So we get to the end of the discussion and I realise no one picked me! My question is, what skills should I learn so that I would be a top pick for an apocalypse team?

Sincerely,
Not Even Last Pick 

 

 

Hey Not Even Last Pick!

Not weird at all! We should all plan for the best case apocalypse scenario. The question you need to ask yourself is what kind of apocalypse are you facing? Nuclear winter? Because if so, knowing plants and being able to grow things isn’t going to help you out. Are you in a city? Because there is a big difference between being able to live off the land and urban survival. 

You need to develop a catch all skill. One that will be helpful in any situation or at the very least you need to be able to fake it until you make it. 

So let’s look at a simple catch all skill….how about the art of silence. I’m not talking about the ability to shut up. I’m talking about the ability to move around freely without making a sound. You would be valuable in most situations. This skill would give you an advantage in hunting, scouting and escaping. Now, you would also need to be able to hunt and scout but take skill learning one step at a time.

Another catch all would be the art of bartering. Resources are going to become scarce. You’ll have to barter to get what you or your team needs. This takes someone who knows psychology and someone who can read a situation and make quick decisions. I recommend hitting any yard sale or flea market to sharpen this skill.

Now let’s address the fake it until you make it. People value intelligence. It’s not going to help you to be an expert in just one field though! Like I said, knowing plants and how to grow them will do nothing without the sun. So read up! Learn a bunch of random facts and some really good obscure ones. This seemingly endless knowledge on almost any subject should get you accepted into a group pretty quick and gain you access to their resources. Just make a quick exit before they catch on to you. We all learned a lesson from Eugene in the Walking Dead.

Lastly, you could just gain weight. People might see you as a source of food and pick you to be on their team. I don’t know how this will help you in the long run, but at least you’ll get picked.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Nosy Neighbors

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Office Romance

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Hey Alex!

I made the mistake of dating a coworker! Yuck! Obviously it ended badly and now we are both stuck working at the same place. Honestly, we can’t stand the sight of each other. I worked here almost a full year before he was hired and I love my job. I feel like he should be the one looking for a new job. Am I wrong?

Sincerely,
Never Again

 

Hey Never Again!

Yes, yes you are wrong. Unfortunately, life does not stop when a relationship ends and neither do jobs. He might love his job as much as you love yours and frankly, you cannot dictate his life. He has a right, just as you do, to keep working there.

Now, if there is a behavior that makes the workplace a hostile environment, then you definitely need to address this with your supervisor and let it be handled by the company. But… if the sight of him just grosses you out, then you are going to have to suck it up, or if you can’t, then you should be the one to look for a new job.

I would give it more time. It sounds like the breakup is relatively fresh. Time has a way of erasing pain and anger and you might find in another month or two, that you aren’t affected by his presence one way or the other.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : I Want A Dog

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : My Boss Is Too Uptight

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Hey Alex,

I have worked at my current job for over 8 months and this past week I was late for a 3rd time. All three times that I have been late have been under ten minutes and this last time I was only 4 minutes late! My boss  flipped out on me and wrote me up! I feel like my boss is too uptight.  How do I explain to my boss that people are late from time to time and that 5 minutes isn’t a big deal? It’s not like I am being paid for the 5 minutes I wasn’t there.

Sincerely,

A Little Late

 

Hey A Little Late,

The key word here is BOSS. You don’t explain anything to your boss about how the company runs. That is why they are your boss and they have the authority. If you truly feel your boss is too uptight and this makes an unpleasant working environment, it is simple, you find another job that is more relaxed.

I actually ran into this same issue when I was a manager and had a young employee who started running 5 or 10 minutes late from time to time. The employee was excellent beyond this issue, but being late is being late. I will give you the advice that, as a manager, I gave the employee.

You were not hired to be paid for the time you feel like working. You were hired to fill a specific time period that the business needs you present. You will likely have many jobs in your life and some bosses will absolutely not tolerate tardiness, so it is best to get in a different mindset early on. 

Five minutes early is on time. This doesn’t just go for work, but also for appointments or even plans with friends. Your time is valuable, it is something that can never be replaced, so by the same token everyone else’s time is just as valuable. Wasting someone’s time by simply being late is robbing them of the most valuable asset in their life.

As far as work goes, always remember that no one is irreplaceable. If you value your position, show that you do. Being on time is one of the most important ways that you can express maturity and dependability.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : “Big” City Move

 

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : What’s in a name?

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Hey Alex,

There is a guy at work that is nice. He’s not for me, but he often goes out of his way to say nice things to people and uses little names for coworkers. Not just women, I’ve paid attention to notice he compliments everyone. From simple things like “Nice tie, handsome” to some of the guys to “Thanks for your help today, beautiful” to some of the girls.

A few times, I’ve really needed it and it brightened my day. One specific example was a presentation I thought was awful but he said, “great job, Shakespeare.”

I’ve told a friend about him, and she thinks the compliments are nice, but the names are too far. I think it’s fun and he hasn’t done anything physical to make it awkward. Plus, he does it to everyone.

 I know I enjoy it, and I’m not looking for what to do, but my question is, who do you agree with? Are the names too much? Or is she being too sensitive?

Sincerely,
Nicknamed

 

Hey  Nicknamed,

Well, I know the politically correct answer that I should give, but this is an opinion article, so I’m siding with you.

If no one in your company has complained (which is a shocker in this day and age) then I would say no harm, no foul. This person, according to your observations, hasn’t crossed the line with anyone and that points to it just being a friendly part of their personality.

I feel that society as a whole has become a little too sensitive. We have all been programmed to be offended, but even with that being said, you should still keep in mind that what is appropriate for you may not be for others.

Be sure to be vigilant of your co-workers and make sure that the fun banter does not cross the line into possible passive aggression. Not everyone is able to speak up if they truly are offended or hurt. 

It sounds like you enjoy your workspace, so keep on enjoying it as long as it isn’t causing harm to you or your coworkers. And tell your friend, Sensitive Sally, that not everyone in life has ill intent, sometimes it’s best to just sit back and accept people for who they are.

 

Sincerely,
Alex

 

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

You can check out last week’s Ask Alex by Clicking Here – Ask Alex : Am I In Too Deep?

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