Ask Alex : Am I in too deep?

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Hey Alex,

I have an addiction, but it is not drugs or alcohol or anything illegal. It is a huge part of my life, and I feel great when I am doing this hobby. I am not a very social person, and I have a small group of friends that join me regularly in this hobby. It is not ruining my life, I have a job and all, but I have had a relationship or two ruined over the years because I am so dedicated to this hobby. Am I really in too deep, or am I just overreacting?

Sincerely,

Need Direction

 

Hey Direction,

This is an issue that so many people deal with and everyone at some point has to decide to what extent they want to continue with their passion. I don’t feel that you are overreacting or that you are in too deep, but merely at a point of self reflection.

Your hobby isn’t ruining your life based on your own account, but it is ruining an aspect of your life that you feel like you need. You are going to need to find balance to have both, and this balance is going to come in one of two ways.

The first would be to start limiting your time with your hobby before looking for a relationship. Get into a pattern of “OK, I am only going to devote this much time to my interest in a week”. Be upfront with a potential significant other about the time you set aside for yourself, and stick to it. This way there are no expectations that aren’t being met down the road; your new love will know going into the relationship that “this is their hobby time”.

The other option of course is to find someone that is as passionate about your hobby as you are. In this day and age, with the use of the internet, our world is a lot larger, and finding someone with your interests is easier than ever. Perhaps if this person is out there, you wouldn’t have to modify at all, and grow a relationship based on mutual interests.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

Click Here to read last week’s Ask Alex : When did I cross the line?

 

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