Ask Alex : “Big” City Move

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Hey Alex,

I’m feeling lost. I recently moved to a “big” city for a job opportunity, and even though I am surrounded by a ton of people I am feeling alone. I’ve been here for about a year and I’ve made some really good friends, but I am missing the feeling of family from living in a small town. Is this going to pass? Should I go ahead and start making a plan to move back home?


Small Town


Hey Small Town,

What you are feeling is completely normal, it’s usually about a year or so after a move when the newness and the excitement of adventure wear off. At this point you start evaluating what you want versus what you have.

To be honest, I can’t tell you if your home sickness will pass or if you should just start packing up now, but I can give you some things to think about that might help your decision.

First, beyond the job opportunity, what attracted you to your current location? If it was just the job, then it’s likely that you will never feel at home, but if it was more than that, then you need to ask yourself, is what I wanted still here? Perhaps, a music scene enticed you, maybe it was the thought of stores being open past 9 p.m. Are those things still there and do you still enjoy them?

Next you need to look at what you are missing. Was your hometown as great as you remember it or are you romanticizing that environment because you are feeling lonely? 

The truth is your hometown and the big city are both going to be there, so I feel there is no reason to rush your decision and whatever decision you make, in this case, it can be reversed. Take time to yourself to really think about your future and what is most important going forward. Which location will provide you with what you value most in life?




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