Ask Alex : I’m in love and he is moving
Just For Fun, Lifestyle May 2, 2021
Hey Alex!
I recently met a guy who I know is moving across the country in a month. We’ve gone out a few times and really like him so much! I’m afraid too much. I’m getting attached and I know it’s going to hurt when he leaves. I’m afraid to spend any more time with him while he’s still here but I also want to see him so bad. I don’t want to waste my time getting attached knowing that he is just going to leave. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Falling in Love
Hey Falling In Love!
Get those feelings in check! You knew going into it that your time together would probably be short. Be happy that you are getting to spend some time with someone who makes you have the feels and don’t worry so much about what the future holds.
Every relationship is a chance to learn and to grow. This sounds like an opportunity for you to work on managing your emotions to be able to get the most out of any given situation. If you can focus on just being in the present moment without expectations you will enjoy your time so much more.
This might be a chance to see what you do want from a relationship and give you a basis of comparison so that you don’t settle in the future. It also might be a chance to gain a life long friend.
Speaking of the future, you have no way of knowing exactly what that holds for you or for him. The future doesn’t exist because it hasn’t happened yet. So there is always a possibility that he is the one, but I am a firm believer in what is meant to be, will be. Don’t try to force it and for sure don’t worry about it.
I wouldn’t write him off because you are scared of feeling hypothetically hurt down the road. Instead, enjoy the time you have with him and take it for what it is. Feel grateful that in the present moment you are spending your time with someone who makes you feel good.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Should I report the coach?
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : “Big” City Move
Lifestyle April 12, 2020
Hey Alex,
I’m feeling lost. I recently moved to a “big” city for a job opportunity, and even though I am surrounded by a ton of people I am feeling alone. I’ve been here for about a year and I’ve made some really good friends, but I am missing the feeling of family from living in a small town. Is this going to pass? Should I go ahead and start making a plan to move back home?
Sincerely,
Small Town
Hey Small Town,
What you are feeling is completely normal, it’s usually about a year or so after a move when the newness and the excitement of adventure wear off. At this point you start evaluating what you want versus what you have.
To be honest, I can’t tell you if your home sickness will pass or if you should just start packing up now, but I can give you some things to think about that might help your decision.
First, beyond the job opportunity, what attracted you to your current location? If it was just the job, then it’s likely that you will never feel at home, but if it was more than that, then you need to ask yourself, is what I wanted still here? Perhaps, a music scene enticed you, maybe it was the thought of stores being open past 9 p.m. Are those things still there and do you still enjoy them?
Next you need to look at what you are missing. Was your hometown as great as you remember it or are you romanticizing that environment because you are feeling lonely?
The truth is your hometown and the big city are both going to be there, so I feel there is no reason to rush your decision and whatever decision you make, in this case, it can be reversed. Take time to yourself to really think about your future and what is most important going forward. Which location will provide you with what you value most in life?
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out last week’s Ask Alex by clicking the link Ask Alex : What’s In A Name?
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.