Ask Alex Will Return Next Week

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Ask Alex will return next week with fresh advice for your life’s questions.

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Coping With Death

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Coping With Death

Just For Fun, Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

My dad was diagnosed with dementia about 7 years ago. He has since progressed to the point of almost around the clock care. I am an only child and my mother passed away several years ago. I have been lucky enough to be able to work from home and take care of my dad. I do get a lot of help from my husband and we have nurses that stop by a couple of times a week. I chose to keep dad at home because I didn’t want him to pass away alone in a strange place.

Recently I have found myself, not hoping but kind of anticipating his death. When I go to check on him, I always wonder if this will be the time that I find him dead. And I’m really questioning myself because when I have these thoughts of him passing, I don’t get a sense of sadness but a sense of relief. Am I a bad person for feeling this way?

Sincerely,

Bothered

 

Hey Bothered!

Please do not think for a second that you are a bad person for having these thoughts. A bad person would not be providing around the clock care for their father in his final stage of life.

I think these thoughts are very natural for a lot of people in your position. People just tend not to openly express them to others for fear of looking like a bad person.

The truth is that dementia takes away the person you once knew and leaves almost a shell in their place. You have probably mourned for your father with each progression of the disease and seeing him now is like looking at a ghost of a man you once knew. In other words, your emotional attachment has lessened as you have been grieving this loss for quite some time.

Even with the help I would also say you are exhausted both physically and mentally and it is not a surprise that the thought of not having to continue the routine brings you a feeling of relief.

In the end don’t carry guilt for a feeling that is natural and if you can, talk with your husband about it. Him being there to help with your father shows that he is there to support you. Let him support you and help you sort through your feelings during this difficult time in your life.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Afraid of Losing Job

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : I’m in love and he is moving

Just For Fun, Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex! 

I recently met a guy who I know is moving across the country in a month. We’ve gone out a few times and really like him so much! I’m afraid too much. I’m getting attached and I know it’s going to hurt when he leaves. I’m afraid to spend any more time with him while he’s still here but I also want to see him so bad. I don’t want to waste my time getting attached knowing that he is just going to leave. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Falling in Love

 

Hey Falling In Love!

Get those feelings in check! You knew going into it that your time together would probably be short. Be happy that you are getting to spend some time with someone who makes you have the feels and don’t worry so much about what the future holds.

Every relationship is a chance to learn and to grow. This sounds like an opportunity for you to work on managing your emotions to be able to get the most out of any given situation. If you can focus on just being in the present moment without expectations you will enjoy your time so much more.

This might be a chance to see what you do want from a relationship and give you a basis of comparison so that you don’t settle in the future. It also might be a chance to gain a life long friend.

Speaking of the future, you have no way of knowing exactly what that holds for you or for him. The future doesn’t exist because it hasn’t happened yet. So there is always a possibility that he is the one, but I am a firm believer in what is meant to be, will be. Don’t try to force it and for sure don’t worry about it.

I wouldn’t write him off because you are scared of feeling hypothetically hurt down the road. Instead, enjoy the time you have with him and take it for what it is. Feel grateful that in the present moment you are spending your time with someone who makes you feel good.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Should I report the coach?

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

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