Ask Alex : Office Romance
Lifestyle June 21, 2020
Hey Alex!
I made the mistake of dating a coworker! Yuck! Obviously it ended badly and now we are both stuck working at the same place. Honestly, we can’t stand the sight of each other. I worked here almost a full year before he was hired and I love my job. I feel like he should be the one looking for a new job. Am I wrong?
Sincerely,
Never Again
Hey Never Again!
Yes, yes you are wrong. Unfortunately, life does not stop when a relationship ends and neither do jobs. He might love his job as much as you love yours and frankly, you cannot dictate his life. He has a right, just as you do, to keep working there.
Now, if there is a behavior that makes the workplace a hostile environment, then you definitely need to address this with your supervisor and let it be handled by the company. But… if the sight of him just grosses you out, then you are going to have to suck it up, or if you can’t, then you should be the one to look for a new job.
I would give it more time. It sounds like the breakup is relatively fresh. Time has a way of erasing pain and anger and you might find in another month or two, that you aren’t affected by his presence one way or the other.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : I Want A Dog
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : I Want A Dog
Lifestyle June 14, 2020
Hey Alex!
I have wanted a dog for as long as I can remember! I constantly search rescue websites looking for that perfect companion. When I was younger I always lived in apartments that wouldn’t allow pets, but now I own my own house, with my husband…. Therein lies my problem. He is just not a dog person and won’t budge on not wanting a dog in the house. Recently, I found a little guy that I think would be perfect for us, but I keep getting a very stern no from my other half.
What should I do? Would it be horrible if I just adopted the dog anyway? I’ve always heard it’s better to ask forgiveness than to get permission.
Sincerely,
Needing A Pup
Hey Needing A Pup!
I’m going to go ahead and stop you in your tracks. In this situation it is absolutely NOT better to ask for forgiveness than to get permission. Adopting a pet is a huge commitment in all aspects of your life. It will change how you operate day-to-day. It will change if you and when you can plan vacations and events. Not to mention the financial responsibility that comes with being a pet owner and these are just the practical areas that will be impacted, not the emotional impacts that would come and probably trouble your marriage.
Adopting a pet is a lifetime commitment for that pet. What would you do if your husband is so angry he says it’s me or the dog? Would you just give up on the dog? What if this moment comes down the road when you have had time to bond with your pet? Would you be able to take him or her back to the shelter?
It sounds like your husband has been very clear on his feelings about getting a dog from go, which means you still chose to be with him knowing that you might never be able to own your own dog.
I would recommend that you take time to volunteer at a shelter and try to get your puppy fix without bringing one home. Another possibility that you could speak with your husband about is fostering.
Rescues are always looking for foster homes, and the thought of the dog only being at your house temporarily might be something that your husband would be down to do. If fostering goes well he might just change his mind and be open to adopting a permanent four legged family member.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Where to Eat?
https://sundayedition.fetchyournews.com/2020/06/07/ask-alex-where-to-eat/
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Where to Eat?
Lifestyle June 7, 2020
Hey Alex!
It’s time to tackle the oldest question among couples. An ancient mystery passed down from generation to generation, one that has gone unanswered for centuries… Where does my boyfriend want to go for dinner?!
He thinks he’s being polite letting me decide, but I just don’t want to make a decision after working all day.
So, oh great sage, where should we go?
Sincerely,
Tired and Hungry
Hey Tired and Hungry!
When in doubt, avoid take out! I understand being tired at the end of a long day and not wanting to make that one last decision….you don’t care, you just need to eat.
Keep your kitchen stocked with some quick and easy fixes for these occasions. You never can go wrong with just a good old fashioned sandwich and chips kind of night.
Save the going out for dinner decision for when the both of you have time to plan ahead on your destination.
Sincerely,
Alex
P.S. He’s not being polite. He doesn’t want to make the decision either.
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Age Gap Dating
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Age Gap Dating
Lifestyle May 31, 2020
Hey Alex!
How much of a difference is too much? I’m in my upper thirties, and I have started dating this guy in his mid-twenties. Not going to go into it more than that.
I’m a little hesitant, it feels strange, but I like him. Am I too old? Should I move on? It’s not like he’s underage, right? Why do I feel weird about this?
Sincerely,
Feeling My Age
Hey Feeling My Age!
How much of a difference is too much? When it’s illegal or when your own morals tell you “no”. If both parties are happy in a legal relationship, then keep on keeping on.
Large age gaps could put a whole other set of obstacles on relationships that dating someone your own age might not. I mean statistically, men reach full maturity much later than woman….
Do be aware that you can’t put expectations on a person of a different age based on where you are in your life. Were you a different person in your twenties? Of course you were and as long as you keep this in mind and don’t set expectations that he should be someone he’s not, then you’re fine.
Many relationships with age gaps do work out as long as you and your partner stay on the same page.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Wedding Guests
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Wedding Guests
Lifestyle May 24, 2020
Hey Alex!
I need your help! I am in the process of planning my wedding and to be honest there are certain family members that I just don’t want there. My mom is insisting that I invite them, but they haven’t been good to me or my parents. I am older and me and my soon to be husband are paying for everything for our big day. I really don’t want these family members there and I for sure don’t want to pay for them to attend the reception dinner. What should I do? Am I being petty?
Sincerely,
Making Plans
Hey Making Plans!
Wait, who’s paying for it? There lies your answer…your money, your day, your guests. The simple fact is that if you are paying for it, you do it how you want to.
With that being said, is leaving these guests off the list going to cause a rift between you and your mom? Because if so, I would like to give you a little bit more advice. It’s not worth it to stick to your principals on this one and risk losing a close relationship with your mother.
If these guests aren’t going to ruin your day by causing a scene, you honestly probably won’t even notice that they are there. You will be so busy, focused on your day and your husband and your loved ones (that you enjoy), that the others won’t stand out.
If it is a big deal to your mother that these individuals are invited, approach her with a compromise. Just let her know that you have a set budget for your event and you simply cannot put more money in to cover the added expenses. If she feels so strongly about them being there she can pony up the cash for them to come.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Family Heirlooms
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Am I in too deep?
Lifestyle March 29, 2020
Hey Alex,
I have an addiction, but it is not drugs or alcohol or anything illegal. It is a huge part of my life, and I feel great when I am doing this hobby. I am not a very social person, and I have a small group of friends that join me regularly in this hobby. It is not ruining my life, I have a job and all, but I have had a relationship or two ruined over the years because I am so dedicated to this hobby. Am I really in too deep, or am I just overreacting?
Sincerely,
Need Direction
Hey Direction,
This is an issue that so many people deal with and everyone at some point has to decide to what extent they want to continue with their passion. I don’t feel that you are overreacting or that you are in too deep, but merely at a point of self reflection.
Your hobby isn’t ruining your life based on your own account, but it is ruining an aspect of your life that you feel like you need. You are going to need to find balance to have both, and this balance is going to come in one of two ways.
The first would be to start limiting your time with your hobby before looking for a relationship. Get into a pattern of “OK, I am only going to devote this much time to my interest in a week”. Be upfront with a potential significant other about the time you set aside for yourself, and stick to it. This way there are no expectations that aren’t being met down the road; your new love will know going into the relationship that “this is their hobby time”.
The other option of course is to find someone that is as passionate about your hobby as you are. In this day and age, with the use of the internet, our world is a lot larger, and finding someone with your interests is easier than ever. Perhaps if this person is out there, you wouldn’t have to modify at all, and grow a relationship based on mutual interests.
Sincerely,
Alex
Click Here to read last week’s Ask Alex : When did I cross the line?
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.