Hey Alex!

I need your help! I am in the process of planning my wedding and to be honest there are certain family members that I just don’t want there. My mom is insisting that I invite them, but they haven’t been good to me or my parents. I am older and me and my soon to be husband are paying for everything for our big day.  I really don’t want these family members there and I for sure don’t want to pay for them to attend the reception dinner. What should I do? Am I being petty?

Sincerely,
Making Plans

Hey Making Plans!

Wait, who’s paying for it? There lies your answer…your money, your day, your guests. The simple fact is that if you are paying for it, you do it how you want to. 

With that being said, is leaving these guests off the list going to cause a rift between you and your mom? Because if so, I would like to give you a little bit more advice. It’s not worth it to stick to your principals on this one and risk losing a close relationship with your mother.

If these guests aren’t going to ruin your day by causing a scene, you honestly probably won’t even notice that they are there. You will be so busy, focused on your day and your husband and your loved ones (that you enjoy), that the others won’t stand out.

If it is a big deal to your mother that these individuals are invited, approach her with a compromise. Just let her know that you have a set budget for your event and you simply cannot put more money in to cover the added expenses. If she feels so strongly about them being there she can pony up the cash for them to come.

Sincerely,
Alex

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Family Heirlooms

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.