Ask Alex : Moving In Together

Just For Fun, Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

I’ve been talking to a girl online for a little over a month. She lives in Maryland and I live in Georgia. We want to be together and she said she would move down here to be with me. And she could move here soon! Like within a month. When I told my friend about her moving here, he wasn’t happy for me at all. It really made me mad but also made me wonder if I am taking things too fast. Should I ask her to wait to move here?

Sincerely,

In Love

 

Hey In Love!

There is nothing wrong with waiting and absolutely everything could go wrong if you rush this move. 

Since you met online and I am assuming not in person, you really need to question how much you know her. Even in new relationships where you see each other on a regular basis, you don’t get to truly know someone for quite a while since most people will put their best foot forward in the beginning.

Truthfully you might not know this girl at all. Being that the relationship has been online (and maybe through text and phone) gives her a bit of anonymity and could allow her to create a persona that is nowhere near who she really is. You are not there in person to witness any different.

You also need to question what type of person would be able to just pick up and move across the country in such a short timeframe and for someone she barely knows.

Most people have obligations that would tie them to an area.  A job, a mortgage, a lease, to name a few. Has she explained why she has none of these ties? If she is willing to break serious obligations so easily, you should also wonder about how seriously she takes responsibilities and commitments.

Lastly, when she moves here all she will have is you. That means, at least initially, she will be relying heavily on you emotionally and possibly financially. If things don’t work out, how will you handle the situation? Will you feel guilt that will lock you into a relationship that you don’t want to be in?

It sounds like you have a good friend who is just watching out for you. Slow down. There is no need to act when good feelings are still high from the newness of the relationship. 

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Still Friends with an Ex

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : Still Friends with an Ex

Just For Fun, Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a couple of months and recently found out that one of his best friends is also his ex. They dated for 2 years and broke up about a year before him and I got together. I’ve met her several times but didn’t know at the time that she was his ex. Now I feel uncomfortable with their relationship. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Insecure

 

Hey Insecure!

That would make most people uncomfortable but it’s not necessarily the devastating conclusion that most would jump to in their minds. I know the thoughts that you probably having. What if he decides he wants to get back with her? They seem like they get along better than we do. And so on. This situation would make even the most secure question and compare.

With that being said, there are a few things that you need to pause and consider before being uncomfortable. First, he has introduced you to her and it sounds like on several occasions. I’m also assuming that before finding out their past, you were ok with her being his best friend.

This probably means that you didn’t pick up on any threatening vibes from her and that she made you feel welcome or at least comfortable. This is a good thing! She doesn’t appear to be stuck on him as far as an emotional attachment from their relationship and doesn’t seem to be trying to win him back.

Also, consider the length of time since they broke up. It’s been a year which means that probably one, if not both have dated other people in that time, meaning you more than likely are not the first new significant other since their relationship’s end. If her being around didn’t break up these new relationships for them, then it is unlikely that her presence will break up yours.

Talk to him. Find out more about their past and how they are able to be such good friends now. You might gain some insight into an event that puts things in better perspective for you.

And of course if it still makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to stay. You have the option of leaving at any point. For now though I would push aside your insecurities and take a step back to see if what you’re feeling is warranted.

Sincerely,

Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : My Dad’s Young Girlfriend

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

Ask Alex : A Parent’s Intuition

Lifestyle
Advice, Ask, Alex, Behavior, Opinion, relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, exes, photos, pictures, commitment, compromise

Hey Alex!

I started dating a new guy and when I decided he might be a keeper, I took him home to meet my parents. We had a great visit but afterwards I got a call from my dad. My dad told me that he didn’t really like my new boyfriend. When I asked him why, he just said that he didn’t know, he got a bad feeling from the guy. My dad has always gotten along with my boyfriends in the past and has never said anything like this to me. It’s really weirding me out! Should I dump the guy based on my dad’s “feeling”?

Sincerely,
Concerned

 

Hey Concerned,

In-tune parents tend to have pretty good intuition when it comes to the well being of their children. If this is something that is out of character for your dad, then you should definitely pay attention.

As you said, your dad has always gotten along with your boyfriends in the past and has never said anything like this to you before. This tells me that your dad had a strong enough feeling that he felt compelled to let you know. 

It sounds like your relationship with the boyfriend is relatively new. In the beginning of any relationship, people are going to put their best foot forward. It’s when you both become relaxed that true colors will show, this is when you need to pay attention. If you truly like the guy, give it a little bit of time.

You don’t have to make a decision right away, but keep your eyes open and don’t hesitate to call it quits if your dad’s “feeling” turns out to be correct.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Open Relationships

If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.

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