Ask Alex : Moving In Together
Just For Fun, Lifestyle March 28, 2021
Hey Alex!
I’ve been talking to a girl online for a little over a month. She lives in Maryland and I live in Georgia. We want to be together and she said she would move down here to be with me. And she could move here soon! Like within a month. When I told my friend about her moving here, he wasn’t happy for me at all. It really made me mad but also made me wonder if I am taking things too fast. Should I ask her to wait to move here?
Sincerely,
In Love
Hey In Love!
There is nothing wrong with waiting and absolutely everything could go wrong if you rush this move.
Since you met online and I am assuming not in person, you really need to question how much you know her. Even in new relationships where you see each other on a regular basis, you don’t get to truly know someone for quite a while since most people will put their best foot forward in the beginning.
Truthfully you might not know this girl at all. Being that the relationship has been online (and maybe through text and phone) gives her a bit of anonymity and could allow her to create a persona that is nowhere near who she really is. You are not there in person to witness any different.
You also need to question what type of person would be able to just pick up and move across the country in such a short timeframe and for someone she barely knows.
Most people have obligations that would tie them to an area. A job, a mortgage, a lease, to name a few. Has she explained why she has none of these ties? If she is willing to break serious obligations so easily, you should also wonder about how seriously she takes responsibilities and commitments.
Lastly, when she moves here all she will have is you. That means, at least initially, she will be relying heavily on you emotionally and possibly financially. If things don’t work out, how will you handle the situation? Will you feel guilt that will lock you into a relationship that you don’t want to be in?
It sounds like you have a good friend who is just watching out for you. Slow down. There is no need to act when good feelings are still high from the newness of the relationship.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Still Friends with an Ex
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Still Friends with an Ex
Just For Fun, Lifestyle March 21, 2021
Hey Alex!
I’ve been dating my current boyfriend for a couple of months and recently found out that one of his best friends is also his ex. They dated for 2 years and broke up about a year before him and I got together. I’ve met her several times but didn’t know at the time that she was his ex. Now I feel uncomfortable with their relationship. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Insecure
Hey Insecure!
That would make most people uncomfortable but it’s not necessarily the devastating conclusion that most would jump to in their minds. I know the thoughts that you probably having. What if he decides he wants to get back with her? They seem like they get along better than we do. And so on. This situation would make even the most secure question and compare.
With that being said, there are a few things that you need to pause and consider before being uncomfortable. First, he has introduced you to her and it sounds like on several occasions. I’m also assuming that before finding out their past, you were ok with her being his best friend.
This probably means that you didn’t pick up on any threatening vibes from her and that she made you feel welcome or at least comfortable. This is a good thing! She doesn’t appear to be stuck on him as far as an emotional attachment from their relationship and doesn’t seem to be trying to win him back.
Also, consider the length of time since they broke up. It’s been a year which means that probably one, if not both have dated other people in that time, meaning you more than likely are not the first new significant other since their relationship’s end. If her being around didn’t break up these new relationships for them, then it is unlikely that her presence will break up yours.
Talk to him. Find out more about their past and how they are able to be such good friends now. You might gain some insight into an event that puts things in better perspective for you.
And of course if it still makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to stay. You have the option of leaving at any point. For now though I would push aside your insecurities and take a step back to see if what you’re feeling is warranted.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : My Dad’s Young Girlfriend
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : My Dad’s Young Girlfriend
Just For Fun, Lifestyle March 14, 2021
Hey Alex!
Recently my dad started dating a new woman. Him and my mom have been divorced for years and both of them have dated, so the dating thing isn’t a problem for me. The problem is that my dad’s new girlfriend is 35 and he is 64. I’m 37 years old and am having a real hard time with the new girlfriend being younger than me. I want to say something to my dad but don’t know if I should. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Grossed Out
Hey Grossed Out!
Before you say anything, if you do, you need to take a step back and analyze the situation. I understand the uncomfortable feeling you’re having but assessing the situation as a whole might give you a better perspective and help you to navigate these awkward circumstances.
First, really look to see if the new girlfriend is using your father and he is unaware. For example, is she after his money or is she using his status to get a step up in her own life? If you are sure without a doubt that this is the case you should feel more than comfortable approaching your dad with your concerns.
But before you do, you also need to see if the relationship is mutually beneficial. For example, the new girlfriend might be enjoying the status of dating your father and at the same time your father might be gaining points in his world from having a young woman by his side. If this is the case, then it is best to stay out of it. Your father is a grown man capable of making decisions to better his own life.
Lastly, there is always a good possibility that they just enjoy each other’s company, in which case, it is absolutely none of your business and best to just keep your mouth shut. There is a certain taboo to such an age difference but at the end of the day it is not your place to rain on someone’s parade because their relationship makes you uncomfortable.
Take a step back. Try to look at the situation without your emotions playing a part and I think the answer of whether or not to say something will come to you.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : My Kid is Bad at Everything He Tries
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.