Ask Alex : I’m in love and he is moving
Just For Fun, Lifestyle May 2, 2021
Hey Alex!
I recently met a guy who I know is moving across the country in a month. We’ve gone out a few times and really like him so much! I’m afraid too much. I’m getting attached and I know it’s going to hurt when he leaves. I’m afraid to spend any more time with him while he’s still here but I also want to see him so bad. I don’t want to waste my time getting attached knowing that he is just going to leave. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Falling in Love
Hey Falling In Love!
Get those feelings in check! You knew going into it that your time together would probably be short. Be happy that you are getting to spend some time with someone who makes you have the feels and don’t worry so much about what the future holds.
Every relationship is a chance to learn and to grow. This sounds like an opportunity for you to work on managing your emotions to be able to get the most out of any given situation. If you can focus on just being in the present moment without expectations you will enjoy your time so much more.
This might be a chance to see what you do want from a relationship and give you a basis of comparison so that you don’t settle in the future. It also might be a chance to gain a life long friend.
Speaking of the future, you have no way of knowing exactly what that holds for you or for him. The future doesn’t exist because it hasn’t happened yet. So there is always a possibility that he is the one, but I am a firm believer in what is meant to be, will be. Don’t try to force it and for sure don’t worry about it.
I wouldn’t write him off because you are scared of feeling hypothetically hurt down the road. Instead, enjoy the time you have with him and take it for what it is. Feel grateful that in the present moment you are spending your time with someone who makes you feel good.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Should I report the coach?
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Adrenaline Junkie
Just For Fun, Lifestyle April 18, 2021
Hey Alex!
I have a friend who is an adrenaline junkie. She is constantly doing reckless things just to get a rush. She’s like this in every aspect of her life, from how she drives, to the men she dates. If it’s not dangerous then she is bored. I’m worried about her and her safety but don’t know how to make her stop. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Seeking Help
Hey Seeking Help!
No doubt it’s scary to see a friend who constantly disregards their own well being while seeking to fulfill a need.
Your friend’s behavior is no different than those who struggle with drug addiction. Both are seeking a high, so you will need to look at your friend from that perspective. While it’s not as obvious as someone who is actively using drugs, your friend’s behavior is a direct addiction to that adrenaline rush.
My first concern in this, and one you definitely need to address with your friend, is could her actions potentially cause harm or even death to someone else? For example, you mentioned her driving as one of her reckless behaviors. If this is the case you need to be stern with her, show anger if you have to and let her know how selfish her actions are. She should never put others’ lives in danger.
Feel free to fully and honestly express your concerns over her own life and what could happen.
I would suggest to your friend that she try to seek out a more healthy way to get her high. There are many out there just like her that get addicted to that adrenaline rush and many of these people will compete or take on extreme sports as a hobby. There of course are still risks with these sports but at least they are calculated risks that usually will not involve harm to innocent bystanders.
As for yourself, do not beat yourself up if you fail to reach her. You can only do so much and ultimately her choices are her choices to make and the consequences of her choices are hers alone.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : I Quit My Job
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Drama Queen
Just For Fun, Lifestyle April 4, 2021
Hey Alex!
I have a friend who is constant drama. She is always on the verge of a crisis according to her but she does absolutely nothing to fix her problems and just acts like she never said a thing to me to begin with. When her life isn’t in peril she will gossip about all the rumors she has heard about everyone else. She’s actually a really good person and has been a good friend at times but all the negativity wears on me. I don’t know what to do. I want to continue being her friend but I don’t know that I can deal with all the gossip and drama.
Sincerely,
Over It
Hey Over It!
First off you don’t have to have any person in your life as a friend if you don’t want them to be there. If it truly is weighing on you too much or affecting your mood or well being just cut ties. Or at least keep your contact to a bare minimum.
If you are wanting to stay in the friendship, you need to set your boundaries. When she starts to gossip, be very straightforward with her and let her know that you really don’t want to talk about other people. You don’t have to give your reasons, just that it is not a conversation you are interested in having.
When it comes to her personal drama you are stuck if you want to continue being friends. Part of being a good friend is listening and being there for one another. So even if you know she is making her life seem overly dramatic, in a friendship it is not really your job to judge but rather to just listen.
So you need to decide if her negativity outweighs the good she contributes to your life. If the negativity does then move on and surround yourself with more positive friends. If her friendship is more important than the drama, make it clear you don’t want to hear about anyone else’s problems other than hers.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Moving In Together
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.