Ask Alex Will Return Next Week
Just For Fun, Lifestyle June 13, 2021
Ask Alex will return next week with fresh advice for your life’s questions.
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Coping With Death
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Coping With Death
Just For Fun, Lifestyle June 6, 2021
Hey Alex!
My dad was diagnosed with dementia about 7 years ago. He has since progressed to the point of almost around the clock care. I am an only child and my mother passed away several years ago. I have been lucky enough to be able to work from home and take care of my dad. I do get a lot of help from my husband and we have nurses that stop by a couple of times a week. I chose to keep dad at home because I didn’t want him to pass away alone in a strange place.
Recently I have found myself, not hoping but kind of anticipating his death. When I go to check on him, I always wonder if this will be the time that I find him dead. And I’m really questioning myself because when I have these thoughts of him passing, I don’t get a sense of sadness but a sense of relief. Am I a bad person for feeling this way?
Sincerely,
Bothered
Hey Bothered!
Please do not think for a second that you are a bad person for having these thoughts. A bad person would not be providing around the clock care for their father in his final stage of life.
I think these thoughts are very natural for a lot of people in your position. People just tend not to openly express them to others for fear of looking like a bad person.
The truth is that dementia takes away the person you once knew and leaves almost a shell in their place. You have probably mourned for your father with each progression of the disease and seeing him now is like looking at a ghost of a man you once knew. In other words, your emotional attachment has lessened as you have been grieving this loss for quite some time.
Even with the help I would also say you are exhausted both physically and mentally and it is not a surprise that the thought of not having to continue the routine brings you a feeling of relief.
In the end don’t carry guilt for a feeling that is natural and if you can, talk with your husband about it. Him being there to help with your father shows that he is there to support you. Let him support you and help you sort through your feelings during this difficult time in your life.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Afraid of Losing Job
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Who Did You Vote For?
Lifestyle October 25, 2020
Hey Alex!
I voted! I have a coworker who constantly talks politics with me but we have VERY differing views. He doesn’t know it because I usually just listen to him and nod politely and act like I am on the fence about a lot of issues. To me, it’s not worth arguing over. I know he is going to ask me who I ended up voting for and I know if I told him the truth, he would probably not speak to me anymore. What should I do? I don’t want to lie to the guy just to keep the peace.
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable
Hey Uncomfortable!
There is a reason that you go into the poll booth alone and privately vote the way that you feel is best. I have yet to see a precinct in America where one just walks in and publicly shouts their favorite candidate in front of the crowd to cast their vote. The reason is so that you can vote the way you feel without being pressured by outside influences.
Unfortunately, people seem to have forgotten this. It is now the norm to pressure your friends and family politically via conversation or social media and what’s worse is knowing that there is no longer tolerance from the masses for opposing views.
You don’t need to lie to your coworker. The fact of the matter is that who you voted for is not his or anyone else’s business. Just simply tell him, “I’d rather not say” and give a smile. Let him interpret that however he feels. If he keeps pressuring you for an answer, firmly but kindly let him know that you really don’t want to share because you don’t want to ruin any of your relationships at work over politics.
You are correct in valuing a personal relationship over politics because while politics and policy affect all of our lives, at the end of the day our personal relationships offer us the true support we need to make it through life.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Survivor’s Guilt
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.