Ask Alex : Drama Queen
Just For Fun, Lifestyle April 4, 2021
Hey Alex!
I have a friend who is constant drama. She is always on the verge of a crisis according to her but she does absolutely nothing to fix her problems and just acts like she never said a thing to me to begin with. When her life isn’t in peril she will gossip about all the rumors she has heard about everyone else. She’s actually a really good person and has been a good friend at times but all the negativity wears on me. I don’t know what to do. I want to continue being her friend but I don’t know that I can deal with all the gossip and drama.
Sincerely,
Over It
Hey Over It!
First off you don’t have to have any person in your life as a friend if you don’t want them to be there. If it truly is weighing on you too much or affecting your mood or well being just cut ties. Or at least keep your contact to a bare minimum.
If you are wanting to stay in the friendship, you need to set your boundaries. When she starts to gossip, be very straightforward with her and let her know that you really don’t want to talk about other people. You don’t have to give your reasons, just that it is not a conversation you are interested in having.
When it comes to her personal drama you are stuck if you want to continue being friends. Part of being a good friend is listening and being there for one another. So even if you know she is making her life seem overly dramatic, in a friendship it is not really your job to judge but rather to just listen.
So you need to decide if her negativity outweighs the good she contributes to your life. If the negativity does then move on and surround yourself with more positive friends. If her friendship is more important than the drama, make it clear you don’t want to hear about anyone else’s problems other than hers.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Moving In Together
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Who Did You Vote For?
Lifestyle October 25, 2020
Hey Alex!
I voted! I have a coworker who constantly talks politics with me but we have VERY differing views. He doesn’t know it because I usually just listen to him and nod politely and act like I am on the fence about a lot of issues. To me, it’s not worth arguing over. I know he is going to ask me who I ended up voting for and I know if I told him the truth, he would probably not speak to me anymore. What should I do? I don’t want to lie to the guy just to keep the peace.
Sincerely,
Uncomfortable
Hey Uncomfortable!
There is a reason that you go into the poll booth alone and privately vote the way that you feel is best. I have yet to see a precinct in America where one just walks in and publicly shouts their favorite candidate in front of the crowd to cast their vote. The reason is so that you can vote the way you feel without being pressured by outside influences.
Unfortunately, people seem to have forgotten this. It is now the norm to pressure your friends and family politically via conversation or social media and what’s worse is knowing that there is no longer tolerance from the masses for opposing views.
You don’t need to lie to your coworker. The fact of the matter is that who you voted for is not his or anyone else’s business. Just simply tell him, “I’d rather not say” and give a smile. Let him interpret that however he feels. If he keeps pressuring you for an answer, firmly but kindly let him know that you really don’t want to share because you don’t want to ruin any of your relationships at work over politics.
You are correct in valuing a personal relationship over politics because while politics and policy affect all of our lives, at the end of the day our personal relationships offer us the true support we need to make it through life.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Survivor’s Guilt
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.
Ask Alex : Survivor’s Guilt
Lifestyle October 18, 2020
Hey Alex!
About a year ago I was in a horrible car accident. Me and my best friend were out late one night and a drunk driver hit us at an intersection. My best friend didn’t survive and I somehow walked away with almost no injuries. I constantly wonder why I was the one to live and she didn’t. Everyone tells me that I’ve been given a gift, a second chance, but I just can’t seem to find my purpose. I’m afraid I’m going to waste my life. I can’t move forward and I don’t know what to do. How do I live my life to the fullest and honor my friend’s memory?
Sincerely,
Need Direction
Hey Need Direction!
I am so sorry that this tragic accident has happened to you and I am very sorry to hear that you lost your best friend in such a way. It sounds to me that you may be experiencing survivor’s guilt, where you may feel like you have done something wrong by surviving when your friend did not.
I promise you that you have done nothing wrong by surviving and that unfortunately events happen everyday where we simply cannot process the outcomes. If these questions haunt you or impede your life, I would recommend seeing a professional that specializes in this field. This person will be able to give you perspective from years of talking with other people who have gone through similar tragedies.
There is nothing wrong with looking at your surviving as a second chance or as a gift, but don’t dwell on what that means. By wondering about the what ifs of the past and the purpose of your future, you are losing the present moment and when it comes down to it, that is all we can ever truly lose, the present. I don’t think your best friend would want you to lose any of these moments in your life.
The purpose of your life and this gift you have been given is to simply live. Make the best of opportunities, make mistakes, go on adventures, love and keep breathing. Take each moment as it comes, in the present. The best way you can honor your friend is to live your life and carry her memory with you as you do.
Sincerely,
Alex
You can check out more of Alex’s advice by clicking here : Ask Alex : Unwanted Pregnancy
If you enjoy reading Alex’s advice, send in your questions or situations to [email protected]. Each week, Alex will answer a new question or provide some friendly advice on issues we deal with every day. Whether it’s serious, fun, interesting, or you’re just stuck, send in your questions to Ask Alex for a little bit of outside perspective on life.