Ask Alex : Photos of Exes

Hey Alex!

My girlfriend has pictures of all of her exes. I really wish she would get rid of them, but every time I bring it up to her, she refuses. We’ve had some really heated arguments about the pictures. It makes me feel like she values those photos over me. How do I get her to see that she needs to get rid of them?

Sincerely,
Big Picture

 

Hey Big Picture,

It would be very frustrating being the current boyfriend to see photos of her past companions, especially happy photos, but as a boyfriend there is not a lot you can do there. She has every right to hold onto what she values, and more than likely it is not her exes that she is valuing but the places that she went and the experiences that she had.

Memories are precious and a lot of times it is hard to let go of sentimental pieces related to those memories.

Now if she has photos displayed of exes throughout her place, that is another story. It is one thing for her to keep them stored away out of your view and a totally different ballgame for her to have them up for you to see every time you are there.

If they are displayed, I would just ask for the compromise of her taking them down. If she doesn’t, then you have to decide if it is worth it for you to stick around.

If they are packed away, I would wait and revisit the disagreement later. When you are seriously considering a proposal and if you are still bothered, I would bring it up then. When the two of you are planning on spending your entire future together, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask for the past to be let go.

Sincerely,
Alex

 

 

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